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Im into the art of loosing myself in giving you praise #God for never ending is your glory that beyond fame #TeamGod

RT @iLyTee__: — I’m in a place in my life where I’m finding myself. In trying to figure out who I am ? What I want ? And who I want to become .

Loosing myself in the depth of my own mind

– I’m in a place in my life where I’m finding myself. In trying to figure out who I am ? What I want ? And who I want to become .

RT @What_a_sin: Loosing myself in music to shake the crazy….

“@10toes_downn I’m slipping. I’ve been finding myself in my feelings more than usual lately.”<<o no jazz

RT @What_a_sin: Loosing myself in music to shake the crazy….

I’m slipping. I’ve been finding myself in my feelings more than usual lately.

Loosing myself in music to shake the crazy….

Finding myself in the #bones tag on Tumblr. >.<

I’m loosing myself in my own mind

I stay finding myself in these awkward ass ‘ situations -.-

I have a way of loosing myself in your eyes .

RT @__iChaseIT: I’m in a place in my life where I’m finding myself. In trying to figure of who I am? What I want? & who I want to become.

RT @kathymichelleXO: blasting music and loosing myself in my thoughts can either be a good thing or bad thing depending on the song.. at the moment bad…

RT @__iChaseIT: I’m in a place in my life where I’m finding myself. In trying to figure of who I am? What I want? & who I want to become.

blasting music and loosing myself in my thoughts can either be a good thing or bad thing depending on the song.. at the moment bad…

RT @__iChaseIT: I’m in a place in my life where I’m finding myself. In trying to figure of who I am? What I want? & who I want to become.

Monday Madness + loosing myself in time http://t.co/XCQaZZLJ

I’m in a place in my life where I’m finding myself. In trying to figure of who I am? What I want? & who I want to become.

im loosing myself in this life #can’thandlemyworse

Poor Man’s Provence: Finding Myself in Cajun Louisiana: For over a decade, syndicated columnist Rheta Grimsley J… http://t.co/voKIwLHJ

RT @CoralPiercey: I love loosing myself in music

I’m finding myself in situations I don’t have explanations for and now I’m worried some of my friends won’t be here anymore #PoeticShit

I love loosing myself in music

Always finding myself in some kind of trouble

Loosing myself in darkness …

36 Views of Mount Fuji: On Finding Myself in Japan: In 1980 Cathy N. Davidson traveled to Japan to teach English… http://t.co/ZzJiEQpq

i’m sticking my headphones in and loosing myself in the lyrics just to get away from the world, even if it’s just until the song ends.

36 Views of Mount Fuji: On Finding Myself in Japan: In 1980 Cathy N. Davidson traveled to Japan to teach English… http://t.co/LLbrtRue

The art of loosing myself, in bring you praise

RT @aljacksonbooks: Finding myself in dangerous territory ~ #amwriting while wondering how this story got so incredibly dark

Jesus the art of loosing myself in bringing you praise #LifeMission

It’s time I start finding myself in this messed up world we live in.

I dont know what im turning into, all i know is im loosing myself in this big mess…

I keep finding myself in the same predicaments all the time. Coincidently.

Because, yes, after loosing myself in you there was no turning back

finding myself in pictures at avicii >

I love just sitting on my window ledge listening to music, staring outside just looking at the whole world, and loosing myself in the music

hmm, after a rough week last week and a weekend full of work. Maybe finding myself in the bottom of a bottle tonight #exhaustedtweet

RT @mussc_sparkless: I’ve been loosing myself in my thoughts lately …

Finding myself in dangerous territory ~ #amwriting while wondering how this story got so incredibly dark

I’ve been loosing myself in my thoughts lately …

Finding Myself in You!

RT @Pinchestephh: ”I don’t know what I’m turning into. All i know is I’m loosing myself in this huge mess.. ”

Everything Sucks: Losing My Mind and Finding Myself in a High School Quest for Cool (Paperback): When everything… http://t.co/dzRTopdW

”I don’t know what I’m turning into. All i know is I’m loosing myself in this huge mess.. ”

I’m finding myself in a predicament that i do not wish to be it >.<

Loosing myself in cannabis.

Why is that I keep finding myself in the fridge… I cant stop eating -__-

Loosing myself in the wind >.<

@tbrimmers @JessyPurnell I’m sick of going on benders on the other side of the world and then finding myself in a relationship #TOOOFTEN

Eyes closes, headphone on, volume cranked up & and loosing myself in Dark Therapy by Echobelly http://t.co/siNoWOPn

Been finding myself in a magazine collecting phase recently :S http://t.co/vBslss1l

Thank you! “@Ffitography: Loosing myself in this song. Thank you @elephantsoldier http://t.co/RBXQlUY9”

Im a bit lost right now… It’s like I keep finding myself in a maze

Loosing myself in trying to find you…. If you get that

Only good thing which has happened to me in the last few days is me finding myself in @Metallica ‘s official video #FTW http://t.co/lhU5BOxS

Loosing myself in this song. Thank you @elephantsoldier http://t.co/KCOecPOe

@LittleMissMoody i keep finding myself in random bars in between my errands

I’ve realized I’ve been loosing myself in between the bullshit and my stupid luck lately. Tomorrow is always a new day.

Back to the South I go……im finding myself in the area more than normal……

Loosing myself in every way

RT @HaleyNohl2: I seem to be finding myself in a lot of complicated situations lately #notokay

Loosing myself in this surrounding sanctuary of music

I seem to be finding myself in a lot of complicated situations lately #notokay

Studio bound right now… All my problems are gone, loosing myself in the music… #Da Kidd

I seem to be finding myself in these situations a bit too much…

i love loosing myself in a good book. Back to reality

omg hahahahha ive been finding myself in too many awkward positions lately :L

RT @elzeydanze2328: Home Alone= Putting TMB on Surroud Sound FULL BLAST! Yeah just loosing myself in a symphony @stefanabingdon @druwakely @AshleyNHorne Join?;)

And I’m just finding myself in a rut ?

Home Alone= Putting TMB on Surroud Sound FULL BLAST! Yeah just loosing myself in a symphony @stefanabingdon @druwakely @AshleyNHorne Join?;)

Randomly finding myself in minesota for the week! I love suprise vacations!

Loosing MYSELF in the process…….

i keep finding myself in really depressed sad moods lately

The Art of loosing myself in bringing YOU praise !!! Selah ! Jesus lives

Finding myself in Brixton a lot recently so if you don’t hear from me for a few days assume the worst.

Loosing myself in the pain. Hearin the evil speak to me. Tonight i might do sum krazy. Gotta go start sum bullshit. Villian stazt

I am finding myself in a lot of humbling situations these days. God please take charge.

loosing myself in time just thinking of your face .

For a girl who doesn’t drink coffee I am finding myself in Tim Horton’s  more often than I would like to admit,… http://t.co/5H46BVJf

Im loosing myself in all this.

I can’t go to Pret yet as I will bump into half of my high school and I have no excuses for why I’m not at uni or finding myself in Africa

Loosing myself in these landscapes

penchant for finding myself in the most uncomfortable situations..

#MyBiggestFearIs loosing myself in this crazy world.

3 hours ago: I began watching music videos on youtube. 3 hours later: here I am, finding myself in awe of Treeman and other crazy diseases.

“@_barokestay: One of my biggest fear is loosing myself in this life. Along with other BS.”

Poor Man’s Provence: Finding Myself in Cajun Louisiana (Hardcover): These days, much is labeled Cajun that is no… http://t.co/gkEgdNep

One of my biggest fear is loosing myself in this life. Along with other BS.

On this day 4 years ago, fresh off the boat & wet behind the ears, finding myself in Suffolk’s lovely Diss, I failed a pub quiz.

Loosing myself in a great novel

I hate finding myself in italian banks! Fuck this shit

i be loosing myself in the gym it show aint feel this late

I enjoy situational humor. That’s probably why I keep finding myself in impossibly bad situations.

Im loosing myself in this he** hole we call highschool ! ??

…had the misfortune of finding myself in a room with a tv…showing Citizen tv. Naambukizwa ujinga

#MyBiggestFearIs loosing myself in the race of life… where no one cares about others anymore…

Finding myself in the exact same place. Doesn’t matter how good it starts off. Looking for somethin to change

#MyBiggestFearIs loosing myself in a relationship.

Been finding myself in situations here lately that I shouldn’t of been involved in.

Wrds 4m My HearT:-

“BiGGesT misTake i Hv Done is..”LoOsinG mYseLf in d prOcess of valuinG sUm PeOple toO mUch &… http://t.co/67adTKPb

I’m finding myself in the midst of You.. Beyond the music, beyond the noise.  mercyme http://t.co/IfL90e1j

Loosing myself in the music

I’m finding myself in the midst of You.. Beyond the music, beyond the noise.  #mercyme

#MyBiggestFearIs loosing myself in this crazy world

I’m just a step away of finding myself in my last year of high school. I’m fucking ready!

RT @_KissMyKicks: My music truely saves from mentally loosing myself in alot of situations.

Finding myself in this world

#MyBiggestFearIs loosing myself in all of this

I’ve been finding myself in these situations for a reason and I know why I’m too kind hearted and people orientated I’m done! #FuckIt

Loosing myself in time.

Had the most amazing day off; church, grandparents, best friend, sun = perfection.  Enjoyed finding myself in pure joy in the chaos of life.

I pushed you away, not from lack of love, but the fear of loosing myself in it.

Its not about missing him,its not about wanting some1 else,its about finding myself in the midst of all this choas #mytruth #myjourney

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Tweeters:

@nathanllang @live2rock247 @LauSarmiento_ @DesireGrace_ @phina_pheans @MissMissable @anuhlise12 @danaharvey_ @AmandaLynneee @CoralPiercey @wellyano_itsebz @itsTelmsss @properdom @mussc_sparkless @PintoShalom @jamieshepherd @awajadojut @FrAm3_CaNdi3 @4ftDiva @YURSTRULYXO_ @MsSkye2u @momvstheboys @Steves71 @Bakassura @Nedrea_ @arihant786roks @Asiaa_Boo25 @Liza_Lemkuil @MrsDean1973 @karebear1007 @kathymichelleXO @janaemaecia @HaleyNohl2 @MollyxMcCann @10toes_downn @SuperCooleyO @RoseSweetCherry @jayceeblah @Heathermg1973 @AnaFahrass @tobucepysu @j_thrippy @MyAmbition_SWAG @freddi_kim @bugahboo13 @alanatavano @thatworshipchic @Dollas_215 @ThMitchellinMan @TheNameIsYonas @shantelypoo @iLyTee__ @_barokestay @SarahWhovian @My_Bird_Tweets @What_a_sin @Oh_SoBreezy @asianbarnett @davidsthlm @XainSoomro @Blackass_Jordan @shelby_morgan10 @selutitu @_JacquelinRose @serenahallowell @AdriNyx @bosslady_xoxo16 @KyndalEvington @iDanceLoveTweet @Kiadyt @JayReneeShu @tttopmanskinny @aljacksonbooks @elzeydanze2328 @HisGREEK @CandanceMador_1 @Erg0theKiD @Joshthagreatest @Pinchestephh @SteffanaMarcus @Lewa01 @Lilmajordakidd @__iChaseIT @janalejandrag @BryPaige @ChanMonster91 @neeceee_ @Mslicia11 @_chyniiDoll @JakePacker @Isaaaloveee_ @KingMetaknight @panfoster @samryderr @SHillKovich @Aeonmaster5 @MissSarahLovely @fvshawty @ChrisCicero1 @soniaxlovee @JHbME @elephantsoldier @CameronCP @Seyary @Ffitography @AmiirC_Slater @kshan123 @ArielleKonruffz @arabella000 @alexismckeon @mehryyy @thejessmarie @HaroldJuhlQHUz @jatoshakeslife @anmmerr10 @Anphernym

Splash image is an edited version of:
Rear view of woodpecker bird sitting on tree branch by Dr. Thomas G. Barnes, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service

It is in this space of productive self reflection that we have the ability to ‘lose ourselves’. It is in this space where we produce a reduction of self; a tantalising concoction that when poured upon our everyday experiences can induce salivation for the simplest of activities. As these two rituals collide they highlight the common ‘meditative experience’ that is often touched upon in moments of creation.

above: image from 10 minute meditation 

Sensing Self is a series of self portraits that are an accumulation of bodily sensations over an hour period. Bodily sensations are mapped with pencil upon paper during a formal seated meditation. Each mark is made and left with the constant flow of bodily awareness. There is a mapping process between awareness and these one-point perspective projections.

above: one-point perspective map of a cube 

The relationship between awareness and perception mapping will be freely explored over time. By the end of this series the quality of these self portraits will reveal a development of concentration that will express itself through the development of this perspective map.

Sensing Self has been digitised as part of an event called Share to be held at Serial Space in Sydney. During this event people will be able to mark their bodily sensations using a graphics tablet, creating an impression of themselves visually, whilst sending midi keyboard notes and controller values to anyone who wants to tap into you and then tap out some sounds to the tune of your bodily awareness.

Technically the digitisation is achieved using the amazingly supportive and open source software development environment Processing  and the the Open Sound Control (osc) routing software OSCulator.

Each mark is mapped to different sound control mechanisms. The body is mapped from top to bottom to represent a keyboard, the speed of movement between bodily locations & the amount of time spent in certain bodily regions turn midi controllers (digital knobs). Keep an eye on the Calathumpian twitter feed and the Share Sydney facebook page for updates as there will surely be some interesting sounds emerging from the depths of some of Sydney’s collaborative music lovers.

The idea was to just open my awareness to the creative possibilities whilst doing work that most people were pitying me for doing – being a dish hand. The first two experiments in seeing were so close to me that they were literally at my finger tips for 6 hours a day, little nuggets of gold buried at the bottom of the sink.

The above images were taken over a three hour period. I would spray all of the left over food scraps to the centre of the sink and take an image before I emptied it into the bin. A little tip to other resident dish hands out there: in your documenting endeavours you may be seen as a slacker – taking that mobile phone out too often can very easily be seen as you not working. Don’t fret though – just tell them you are making art and they will smile, nod, then let you be.

The next work is a eight minute video that was made from a short clip of pan washing. The initial idea was to make something that tied into my interests around mindfulness of dish washing.

“…when you do the dishes after dinner, you can practice mindful breathing so the time of dish washing is pleasant and meaningful. Do not feel you have to rush. If you hurry you waste the time of dish washing. The time you spend washing dishes and doing all your other everyday tasks is precious. It is a time for being alive.”

Thich Nhat Hanh – Shambhala SunSpace

I soon let go of this concept once I realised that the dish washing ritual could turn into a creature of its own…

on a mobile phone? use this link

otherwise: play video

The final work created from my time at Coast89′s kitchen was a series of ink markings that were made from the condensation dripping off bottles going out to be recycled. The bottoms of the bottles were painted with ink and then filled with cold water, the ink was washed onto the paper as the bottles started to sweat leaving their impression behind.

Mindfulness based meditation has become widely accepted in the west as a therapy to alleviate anxiety and psychological suffering. Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) is a clear example of how this Buddhist practice has been interweaved with traditional western practices of well being and care. Neuroscientists have been studying this meditation practice and are showing its beneficial effects on the physiological structure of the brain. This kind of appraisal will have you running to your closest meditation centre and mindfully walking your way back home once you’ve learnt the skills to be a no-self-sufficent practitioner. But until you have reached equanimity there will be emotions and thoughts that you dig up along the way that are sure to be confronting and unsettling.

2011 for me marked the beginning of an enquiry into mindfulness meditation through theory and practice. Having the privilege of undertaking a year long research degree I decided that if I was going to be committed to a year of pressure then I may as well be researching meditation, which would surely balance out the stresses of outcomes based learning. Little did I know at the time that meditation was not just about ‘chilling out’, which was the initial reason for going to Sydney Buddhist Centre to do an introduction course in mindfulness of breathing from the Therevada Buddhist tradition. Soon enough I was encountering life in a way that was not directly comparable to experiences of well being in the western sense of the status quo cognitive experience. To put it plainly: friends and family were getting a little bit concerned. Rightfully so in a culture where thought and living in the past and projecting into the future is a driving force.

In a Dharma talk - Demands, defences and distractions - Buddhist meditation teacher Martin Aylward touches on the vulnerability that we face when we don’t allow thought to have the run of the experiential roost.

“As we let go of giving all that authority to thought, as we start to orientate towards and trust in what we are actually sensing, feeling, noticing, responding to moment by moment, then inevitably we start to feel quite vulnerable to life. We start to transparent to the touch of life, which in certain moments can feel exquisite. An exquisite sense of thinning of the sense of boundary between sense and world, an exquisite sense of some dissolving of feeling apart from life.

But vulnerability can also feel destabilising, scary, disconcerting. It can feel like our familiar sense that might be cramped, might be lacking in fulfilment, might be feeling apart from life, but is never the less familiar and therefore seems to offer a sense of safety and protection, that familiar sense is getting shaken up.”

reference point: 00:24:00 – 00:26:00

That shake up will undoubtably come about when you get in touch with, as Aylward puts it, life moving through you rather than you moving through life. But in a society that is about control and aspiration, the idea that life is something animating you, rather than you animating life, is a tough concept to accept. This notion could be seen as apathetic, anti aspirational or even mad. To be out of control and to lose a grip are commonly used sayings indicating something gone wrong. Meditation as a cause of mental illness is a concern that is currently being widely debated in western science and meditation communities.

Buddhist Geeks introduced me to some of this research when they interviewed Brown University neuroscience researcher Willoughby Britton talking about the Dark Night Project. Britton was meeting with people who were coming from meditation retreat into a psychiatric clinic concerned about their mental health. The Dark Night is a term coined by Daniel Ingram to describe the stages of meditation practice that are often part of the journey toward stream entry (enlightenment). All of the stages within the dark night are in some way uncomfortable and in extreme situations will have people quite unsettled. Watching Ingram talk about this will either scare you away from meditation or inspire you to create an animation parody of meditative culture in the west – he is a great character. But these experiences should not only be viewed as a deterant for anyone considering meditation.

Meditation teacher Shinzen Young addresses the concerns of people who are becoming more aware of these darker encounters in their meditation practice in this short video

Shinzen talks about the empowering facets of enlightenment and compares this to “enlightenments evil twin” DP/DR. He talks about the rare occasions that he’s encountered a meditator moving in the direction of DP/DR and the strategy he used to “cure” it using mindfulness methods.

Video Caption

Something that Shinzen mentions in this video that interests me a great deal is that there is the one experience, the thinning of the fabric of life that someone can touch through meditation, but a dichotomy of experiences to this contact. This is something that he believes there needs to be more research into, not just as a way to assist those who are seeking direct experience through meditation, but possibly as a way to address similar experiences in people who are considered to have clinical disorders. In a series of videos Experiences of the Dissolution (Bhanga) Process Shinzen goes into further detail about the importance of recognising when you are experiencing difficult experiences and how to best deal with them. But it is the difference between the perception of this process, either empowering or defeating, which is the quandary.

Through further research into this I have come to realise that the term disorder is very subjective, by that I mean that something will be considered a disorder if it causes you some form of suffering that inhibits your ability to function, and the notion of function is placed within a setting that is dynamically constructed by your cultural environment.

Michel Foucault addresses the role or functionality of ‘madness’ in society. In particular sections of his book Madness and Civilization  he talks about the institution that society built for art and madness during the romantic period. He states at the end of Madness and Civilization that

“There is no madness except as the final instant of the work of art – the work endlessly drives madness to its limits; where there is a work of art there is no madness; and yet madness is contemporary with the work of art, since it inaugurates the time of its truth.”

pg 274

It seems that if there is an occupation for a certain experience then there is not as much fear surrounding it, or at least it becomes functional and people start to see the product of it over the experience of it.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV), states that a mental disorder

Must not be… a culturally sanctioned response to a particular event (for example, trance states in religious rituals)

But if a person is taking practices of a culture and not participating in those practices within that culture’s community then will they have support in their own community?More and more people are taking up religious meditation practices who are not turning to the religion specifically for the ritual or the community.

In 2003 the Dalai Lama told a French audience

“..I think it is best, if one is a believer, to keep the religion with
which one was brought up, which one is used to, which is familiar,”

link

If you are surrounded by a community who stand on common ground then you can experience the world and take comfort in the support networks that you build. But with any kind of life practice, it is much more supportive if you share experiences, whether standing on a rock or sitting on the web.

above: each frame was taken from an video interview and rearranged to create a new composition of the conversation

bellow: graphics being created by tracking the movements of hand gestures during a conversation and redrawing the movement with dynamic colouring based off the movement

exhibited @

Compos(ur)e will be a mobile phone application that enables a social network of people to create technological bells of mindfulness for one another. When a user breathes into their phone they ring a bell for themselves and send a bell to someone else in the network. The users in the network are linked anonymously; the users share an intention to transform the way they hear the bells that call out from their mobile device. This interconnection will be materialised as a network of installations and kinetic sculptural spaces that are composed through these mobile interactions. The mobile phone application sends notifications between the application users and also to the artworks. The artworks will be networked hubs exploring concepts of mindful awareness, driven by the activity of the users in the Compos(ur)e network.

In our pockets and our bags we carry around with us devices that speak to us with an alarming tone. These devices call out to us and demand our attention without a care for our situation or experience. We have the ability to silence them or even turn them off. But what if this call is important? What if that is the email you were expecting? What if you could no longer discriminate what bell was important because they all sound the same? But it is not the ringing tone from these devices that is the problem. We exist in a world, surrounded by sounds, that can intrude on our personal space of attention. A person speaking loudly, a barking dog or even a crying baby can often be heard as a disturbance of the peace. We believe that it is the responsibility of these intruders to step lightly around our attention; that man should pipe down, that dog should be shut up, that woman should take her baby away where it cannot disturb the peace.

We have options for this in our mobile devices; we can set our phones to be discrete, silence them or even turn them off. But we cannot silence the world with the push of a button. If you go looking in the world for the off button you will be looking in the wrong place. But we can find the conceptual “switch” we are searching for by looking inward. We have a special “mode” that can be accessed to bring about peace. The bells can still ring. The person can still speak. The dog can still bark. The baby can still cry. With this sense of peace we can listen to these intruders differently. We can hear these intruders as something that brings us peace, not disturbance; they can shift our consciousness to mindful awareness; they can be transformed into sounds that are simply present. We can listen to our mobile device’s ring tone mindfully, in the present moment, with peace and insight.

Supporters

     exhibited @